5 Personal Lessons: How We Saved Our Relationship From the Brink of Failure
Hello.. we want to share a deeply personal story with you today on behalf of Fall In Love Official. There was a time in my relationship with my partner when we were ready to give up. It felt like our beautiful story was about to end.
But we didn’t give up. The lessons we learned during those difficult days are not found in any tip book—they are based on our own raw, lived experiences.
If your relationship is going through a tough patch, these 5 lessons can help you, just as they helped us bring our bond back from the brink of failure.
1. Stop Mind-Reading: State Your Needs Clearly
Our Mistake:
We believed, “If they truly loved me, they should just know what I need.” This mistake created a massive emotional distance between us. When I (Rehmat) was stressed, I would withdraw into silence, and my partner misinterpreted this as indifference.
- Personal Lesson: Someone once wisely told us, “Your partner is not a magician.” We decided to clearly and verbally ask for one thing we needed from each other every day (whether it was 10 minutes of listening or help with a task).
- The Change: We learned to communicate using “I feel…” statements. This eliminated all the unspoken, assumed expectations.
2. Stop Trying to be the ‘Winner’ in Arguments
Our Mistake:
The goal of every argument was not to solve the problem, but to prove who was right. This caused arguments to escalate, leaving only bitterness in the relationship. We won the argument, but the relationship lost.
- Personal Lesson: The purpose of our relationship is peace, not victory. We established a rule: “We are a team fighting the problem, not fighting each other.”
- The Change: When the argument intensified, one of us would say: “We are a team,” and then we would hug and take a 10-minute cool-down break. This drastically reduced the emotional damage from fights.
3. Invest in New Shared Memories Together
Our Mistake:
We got so caught up in the routine of chores and responsibilities that we stopped having fun. Our relationship became a comfortable ‘routine’ without any spark.
- Personal Lesson: We decided that once a month, we would do something we had never done before together. Whether it was hiking, trying a new restaurant, or cooking a complex dish at home.
- The Change: These new memories brought excitement and novelty back into our bond. We started ‘dating’ each other again, rather than just ‘coexisting.’
4. Understand the True Meaning of Forgiveness (For Now and Forever)
Our Mistake:
When we apologized, we didn’t truly forgive. We used past mistakes as a weapon during future disagreements.
- Personal Lesson: Forgiving means, “I will never bring this up again.” And being forgiven means, “I commit to letting this go entirely.”
- The Change: We adopted the “Art of Letting Go.” We stopped keeping score of past grievances. This restored trust and peace in our relationship.
5. Practice Daily Appreciation (The Power of Acknowledgment)
Our Mistake:
We took the good things for granted. When our partner did something kind, we thought, “That’s their job.” This was a profound lack of gratitude.
- Personal Lesson: Every evening before bed, we told each other one thing we appreciated about them today (whether it was a small chore or a moment of support).
- The Change: This simple habit completely shifted our relationship mindset. We reduced complaining and focused more on each other’s positive contributions.
Conclusion
Relationship failure is not the result of one single event; it’s the culmination of ignoring small, vital needs. My partnership taught me that love is not just an emotion; it is a conscious decision made every day.
If both you and your partner are willing to work on these 5 lessons, you too can pull your relationship back from the brink.
